Dear Bob ...

I telework. I've set up a professional office in our former den. I have a broadband connection, VPN and Citrix access to my employer's systems, a separate telephone line, a filing cabinet -- everything I'm supposed to need to make this work.

[ Also on InfoWorld: "Should telecommuting be viewed as a company strategy or an employee privilege?" | Get sage advice on IT careers and management from Bob Lewis in InfoWorld's Advice Line newsletter. ]

The technology works fine. It accomplishes everything except the one thing I need most. That's for my wife to understand that just because I'm under the same roof she is, that doesn't mean I'm available whenever she is in the mood to talk, wants to start a household project, needs me to look after our kids (5, 7 and 8), or thinks the grass needs cutting.

The situation has caused problems for me at work, because my wife has walked in while I'm on a teleconference and just starts talking. I'm getting adept at hitting the Mute button quickly, but it isn't always quickly enough, and even then, it's obvious to everyone else on the call that I miss whole segments of conversation.

And because she comes in whenever she feels like it, my kids have started to do the same thing.

My wife has never worked outside the home, except for waiting tables part-time while in college, so she doesn't truly understand what an office environment is like. I just wish she'd take my word for it when I try to explain the situation.

Instead, she gets mad or, even worse, gets hurt.

Any suggestions?

- Remote



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Dear Remote ...

What are you, nuts? More to the point, what do you think, I'm nuts? This is marriage-counselor territory, not Advice Line territory. The marriage counselors and I have a deal. I don't try to save marriages; they don't try to save IT departments.

So far, this division of labor has worked pretty well; thus far, I haven't ruined anyone's marriage -- at least, not to the best of my knowledge.

Not that I'm making light of your dilemma. It's a tough one, and one you share with a lot of other teleworkers.